In which I knew what I was going to write
In which I knew what I was going to write
—then I didn't.
Feb. 24, 2023—Waxing crescent moon in Taurus
“The omissions shape the work as much as the presences.”
Diane Seuss
Hello loves.
How are things in your world?
If they are anything like mine, why not join me in taking a moment to pause, breathe, and imagine the sound of a gently moving breeze? Just stay paused for a few breaths and let yourself land in feeling un-rushed, if possible.
We can all use a few less frantic moments in our days.
Onward into the terrain of this letter, in which I knew what I was going to write—then the Universe slapped its knee and laughed—so then I didn't.
Somehow, I think you—hell, anyone who has ever written—probably knows how this feels.
The possibilities and ideas and connections pulsing in my body blithely dodged every word I tried to wrap around them. I’m pretty sure they were laughing, too.
You know the feeling. You can feel the rich, textured effervescence of what you’re trying to create so you chase it, trying to get it to sit still long enough to capture its essence in words. But it gets more and more elusive, burrowing deeper and deeper into the back of your mind, finally disappearing into the mist with a gentle laugh, leaving an aching promise.
Well, maybe your version of the story isn't quite so dramatic, (who, me, dramatic?) but you get what I mean.
Never circumvent your deep processing
Like 20% of the population, I live and create with the neurodivergent trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), also known as being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
There are all sorts of interesting dynamics that go along with how this brain of mine works, but the disruptor in this case is depth of processing—an innate component of being HSP. (Deep processing may be innate for HSP’s, but I think brains on creativity are playing in those rhythms, too.)So from one deep processor to another—don’t rush to words too soon. You’re trying to make sense---and art---out of a flood of information and inspiration that can feel like a restless ocean. If we don't work with this aspect of our neurology or our creative process, giving the creative impulse space to form, things will go sideways.
In my case, some really fertile ideas collided and sparked intriguing insights. I got excited and started to write immediately. The flow of ideas and excitement stopped. The harder I tried to restart the flow, the fewer words I found.
I can still clearly feel the ideas figure-eighting between my heart and my gut, but I’ve stopped trying to box them into the conceptual limiters that are words. I need to allow them to go quiet—to incubate a bit longer.
So, try not to push the river, as they say. Go forth, be spacious, process deeply, stay curious.
Appreciating you for being you. (You right now, this second. Not some future you.)
Tracie
From her essay “Restless Herd: Some Thoughts on Order” in the 2023 publication from The University of Akron Press, Marbles on the Floor: How to Assemble a Book of Poems. Sarah Giragosian & Virginia Konchan, eds.
“Theory and research suggest that sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), found in roughly 20% of humans and over 100 other species, is a trait associated with greater sensitivity and responsiveness to the environment and to social stimuli.”
“Sensory processing sensitivity is thought to be one of two strategies that evolved for promoting survival of the species (Aron and Aron 1997; Wolf et al. 2008). By being more responsive to their environments, these more sensitive organisms have an enhanced awareness of opportunities (e.g., food, mates, and alliances) and threats (e.g., predators, loss of status, competitors), and thus may be more ready to respond to emerging situations. This survival strategy is effective as long as the benefits of increased sensitivity outweigh the costs (such as increased cognitive and metabolic demand). In addition to potential costs, those with the sensitive survival strategy will always be in a minority as it would cease to yield special payoffs if it were found in a majority (Wolf et al. 2008).”
Acevedo, B. P., Aron, E. N., Aron, A., Sangster, M. D., Collins, N., & Brown, L. L. (2014). The highly sensitive brain: an fMRI study of sensory processing sensitivity and response to others' emotions. Brain and behavior, 4(4), 580–594. https://doi.org/10.1002/brb3.242
“At the foundation of the trait of high sensitivity is the tendency to process information more deeply…HSPs simply process everything more, relating and comparing what they notice to their past experience with other similar things. They do it whether they are aware of it or not.” https://hsperson.com/faq/evidence-for-does/
Thank you for the encouragement and reminder to never stop the deep processing!
Thank you Tracie. A message I've received twice in one day so I'm allowing space instead forcing words to emerge that aren't ready yet. Oh the mind is telling all sorts of stories. But the body is where the wisdom is. Happy Taurus Moon inviting us into our bodies ;)